While my musical postings are much less frequent than my fitness postings on my blog, music absorbs a good 80% of my life. I spend most days surrounded by music – practicing it, taking classes on it, studying it in books or scores, listening to it for school, and even in my free time I’m listening it to my own enjoyment. Music really is just as important to me as breathing, water, and eating.
Recently I’ve started working with a therapist to work on my severe performance anxiety and some of my OCD habits attached to my playing and it has made a huge difference. Yesterday I had a really big breakthrough in therapy but I didn’t realize it until I had my lesson and everything positive in my playing was magnified by 5. I think the thing I learned was that I was being too cautious and scared when I played. BASICALLY, I was so concerned with playing everything right and giving a “good” performance that I was playing timidly and cautiously which was hurting me in the end.
I also figured out the reason that I have such a clear mind when I run is because I’m focusing my energy on other things like my legs, or how I’m swinging my arms. Sometimes I get lost in my thoughts, but when I’m on a good focused run I realize I don’t think about much else besides enjoying the run (I can do it with other workouts too but running is obviously my favorite). And I have to work on translating that concept to my playing so I’m just thinking about enjoying and playing the music rather than the results of my playing, judgement of others, or potential for failure. I’m not afraid of failing in running because I do it for my own personal enjoyment and no one else has any say in my running. Once again my running and music habits collide – it happens all the time.
I also have to learn how to get rid of extra thoughts during yoga, I am still easily distracted by worries, cares, and distractions while I practice yoga.
In food news yesterday was Fat Tuesday and for some reason I planned on having salmon but that’s okay, I still indulged a bit because we had BBQ salmon burgers (yum) I even bought us some nice fancy rolls, had some nice wine, AND we got some FroYo for dessert. FroYo is the bomb – seriously it is probably one of the best dessert vehicles ever. I mean you can top it with fruit, candy, cake bits, brownie bits, sauces. Uhm yeah, it’s delicious.
I’m so excited to see the temperatures rising this week because I’ve had enough treadmill for one week and I’ve only gone on it once!